Every Tuesday, my agency publishes a program update. The update lists program news, the number of referrals for the month, how long families are waiting, and a page for cultural movies/books/events that families might be interested in. On Tuesday afternoons, I get an email from my case manager with a link and password and a little note saying that the update will be ready for viewing by 6 pm.

I live for Tuesdays. I check that link every couple of hours every 7 ½ minutes to see if the update’s been posted yet. I can’t explain it – I’m nowhere near the top of the wait list, the update changes little from week to week – and yet I’m on tenterhooks all day until I’ve got that lovely lovely pdf open on my screen. Except for this week, when the update was late.


2:42 pm  Yay, the update email! Let me just click on that li…oh wait, it says it won’t be published until tomorrow. Oh.

2:43 pm  WTF? Why tomorrow? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?

4:01 pm  I bet something happened. Last time the update was late, was it because something happened? Or was it just late? I don’t remember and it doesn’t even matter because this time something happened, something big, I just know it.

4:02 pm  Should I call my case manager? Nah, I’ll just wait until tomorrow.

4:17 pm  Seriously, should I call?

6:10 pm  Maybe I should ask the yahoo group? Or is that too crazy?

6:38 pm  I’m sure nothing happened. It’s just late.  They’re very busy people, after all.

8:30 pm  Maybe there’s an update to the 2 trip rule, and that’s why it’s late? No big deal, right? I like the two trip rule, so it’s nothing to get worked up about. Right?

10:59 pm  What if they postponed the update because ET is closing to singles for realsies and the caseworkers are calling each affected single mom individually before they go public with the information? And since they’re probably calling people alphabetically and my last name starts with an S…WHY DOES MY NAME HAVE TO BE AT THE END OF THE ALPHABET? WHY?


9:15 am  Not gonna think about it.

9:45 am  Not gonna think about it. Not gonna call.

10:45 am  Still not posted.

11:45 am  Still not posted.

12:00 pm  Lunchtime. Thank God.

1:00 pm  Back to back to back meetings. Man, I hope my caseworker leaves a voicemail if she calls with the tragic news while I’m stuck in that conference room with a bunch of engineers all afternoon.

4:40 pm  UPDATE!!!

4:41 pm  Hello? Where’s the big news? It’s just a regular old update. The dial-in for the monthly conference call – that’s nice. A couple of referrals – excellent. But still. I waited all day for THIS? If they’re going to be late and get people all worked up over it, the least they can do is deliver some @#!$ news!

4:42 pm  Ahem. Right. Sorry.

5:00 pm  I need a drink.